Published on May 13, 2004 By werewolf In Misc
I've only had 2 serious recurring dreams in my life and it wouldn't take Jung or Freud to figure them out.

The first started happening around 11 years of age. My parents weren't really getting along very well. This really bothered me and only got worse as time went on.

My eyes open, I'm looking down at my sleeping self. I'm above the light above my bed. It's a very soft, almost glowing, light. It doesn't not penetrate the surrounding room, just me sleeping in my bed.

My eyes close.

My eyes open. I'm now in my bed. The light above me is still on, a soft warm light.

I blink.

Now, surrounding my bed, 2 on each side and one at the foot, are large men dressed as Arabian knights of old. Turbans, sashes, the whole business. They each have a large, broad scimitar. As one, they raise the shiny steel blades, slowly, as if performing a ceremony.

DOWN they plunge. Five curving, pointy, broadswords, coming faster and faster toward my body. I can feel one blade tip touch my pajama button...

)POOF!( I am wide awake, scrambling to find the switch for my overhead light.


The second one is infinitely more difficult to write about. I'll have to start by asking you a question: Do you remember when you first met that special person, do you remember the crush you had? Do you remember how intensely your feelings grew when you were with them; the longing heartache when they were gone? I'm not really talking about love here and, oddly, I'm not talking about sex. I'm talking about a full blown, give 'em all you've got, hot, passionate crush. A glorious flame that burned the sky. That.

In this recurring dream, the situations are never the same twice. The girl is never the same person. Only that emotion, the burning desire, is the same. Every time. In my dream, we meet, spend time together, and this could be the space of a week, a month, one time it felt as if we were together for at least a year. I can see the glistening in her eyes, I can smell the sweet scent of her hair, I can feel the goose bumps on her arms as I stroke my hand against it. The sensual feelings are intense. I want to love this woman. I want to be in love with this woman forever.

I wake up.

I have actually cried after waking from one of these things. The pain I feel inside is real. It's horrible. I have to spend the rest of the day trying to get over a dream. I have to look my wife in the eye and talk to her, normally, as if my heart hadn't just been ripped out by a dream woman, a mirage.

I dread this dream, this nightmare..............and I long for it.

Comments
on Jul 10, 2004
I know exactly how you felt in those dreams, only I have to wonder sometimes if what my husband and I have is real and will really last. I feel this overwelming emotion that is hard to describe, it's like a tremendous love and a dreadful fear.
on Jul 11, 2004
I understand. It is so very hard to love someone with all your heart, to give everything you have emotionally. You can recognize the fear of loss and ignore it, but if you have ever lost someone before, ignoring the possibility is difficult.


Thanks for writing